please be assured our associates make safety our #1 priority except during acts of God but God acts in mysterious ways & who can say it’s not our shareholders’ invisible hands pulling strings but please do partake in these free samples which are individually […]

I’m just saying I dumped your laundry on the bed it was so soft & warm & the cat was so happy but now it’s cold & wrinkly & hairy & that happens when you leave your shirts & undies for three whole days

mist refracts moonlight on cold night drive & oh shit oh shit oh damn dead deer

new app so shiny electrons dancing old ether refreshes

I’d take a bullet for you but only out of the box which is to say we need to visit walmart again because we’re out of green peas & pasta which I know you can’t stand but still

stiff back morning downward dog yowls, another nerve snarls

it’s all fun & games until someone starts screaming about rules