not much depends upon the black mailbox glazed with freezing rain but dammit the car door is stuck & the driveway is a deathslide despite two bags of ice melt so what was the point of pretreating when winter clearly doesn’t give a shit […]

the lucky piglet has brown rot. its cloven eyes mouldered. its toothpick legs collapsed; its lucky penny corroded in september. year’s end was rife with mischance & raw deals, death & bad weather: next year we’ll construct a grapefruit sow & hope our luck […]

red eye flight too damn early to save a few bucks

the wind says fuck it & settles down, buys a little house with a nice yard, a modest car, a Ford, maybe, a boat it keeps on the lake near town until one day the sun shows up exasperated, saying what are you doing?, […]

unlike your iphone you have a right to repair your heart

bruh I regret to inform you there are no more hot toddy peanuts as they tasted like ass & not in a good way so much so that even the birds shit them undigested on your new cybertruck which is ironic in a way […]

I’ve taken the root beer float hostage & there will be no negotiating unless you got a pint of chunky monkey because who can resist not this root beer float that’s for sure so get going mister good humor man