not a eulogy but still

what was it like, my father’s stroke,
the sudden seize, fumbled &
dropped keys & cops & flashlights
& neighbors & behind the dumpster
my father clutching his head
& then the hospital & the nurses,
the home & weeks later his
last breath a whisper or a gasp
no one heard, the nurses too
far away & he, too, gone far
& my brother’s voice jangling
across cellular time & space
saying to change my plans
as if I hadn’t been doing just
that my entire goddamn life?