european travel tips

in France pants
are optional
unless
they aren’t

Norway means
“not that way”
which you
will hear
a lot if
you are
American

don’t confuse
Belgian with
Flemish
especially
in regards
to chocolate

if you are stuck
in an airport
in Germany
do not under
any circumstances
talk about
Fight Club
I mean seriously
do you
have a
death wish?

in Iceland
it’s considered
impolite
to remove
your hat
before your
host but
only during
Yule &
if the log
isn’t lit

never rub a cat
the wrong way
in Italy; it caused
wars in
the 1500s
that Florentines
still argue about

there’s a secret
to travelling
in Spain: don’t–
instead wander
aimlessly about
& eventually
someone will
ask if you
would like
something to
eat; say yes

finally, do not
under any
circumstance
dance with the
spouse of a
Irish mayor
under a full
moon in
autumn;
just trust me
on this one