the zoo poems

the monkey in the petting zoo
is more depressed than me or you;
that’s why he screams & throws his poo—
don’t we all wish we could, too?


the otters in their enclosed pen
fuck once, then twice, then once again
and that is why, my wide-eyed friend,
you only bring kids after ten


the llama’s drunk, it’s sad to say
so maybe we should go away
or check out the alpaca’s pad—
nope, never mind, he’s spitting mad.


the venomous platypus
does not believe it’s poisionous
to be obsessed with candy crush
and if you see it on the bus
next to the blue-ringed octopus
won’t you please say “Hi!” for us?
—the hippopotamus


the polar bear wears underwear
with stains the shape of delaware
& if you see it please don’t stare
or he’ll kill you—he’s a fucking bear.


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